Bullying in school is NOT ok.
Fortunately, our awareness of bullying is growing as a society.
And with this growing awareness comes the requirement of how to deal with the bullies and the victims.
Empowering children
The more empowered you are, the more you can help yourself and have a better chance to stop the bullying.
Empowered children are much less likely to become bullies.
AikiKids empowers children in several ways.
Teaching respect
Stopping bullying before it happens is the best outcome. Learning respect for self and others is the cornerstone of being empowered as an individual and one of the greatest gifts we can give our children.
In AikiKids we even have a grading stripe for respect!
Self-Defence
Because we do not teach martial skills that damage children’s growing bodies or program a violent response to conflict, our students learn to defend themselves in respectful and affirming ways.
Rather than striking back or lashing out, we program responses of awareness and action; of avoiding and resolving; of connecting and breaking balance.
Our focus is to promote a mindset of a powerful, effective, non-violent response.
What to do if YOU are being bullied
If you’re being bullied there is LOTS you can do.
Firstly and most importantly, you need to know two things;
You are NOT alone and it is NOT your fault
While different tactics work for different people, the first thing you should do is try to work it out yourself. Depending on how bad the bullying is (and as long as you don’t feel at risk, scared or physically threatened) you might want to try and work it out yourself – as a first step.
If the bully or bullies don’t change their behavior, that’s when talking to someone else can be really helpful.
Bullies look for a reaction from you and often lose interest if they aren't given the satisfaction of getting one.
It can be helpful to realise that the bully wants you to react. That’s why they’re acting this way. Their goal is to take away your power, make you sad and scared. And if you show them you are not sad and scared, they won’t get what they want. They will often lose interest and they cannot take away your power.
Remember they want to upset you constantly so you get angry. If you don’t get angry, the bully will lose their own power.
Remember that bullies are human - they eat, sleep and live just like you do. The only difference is that you are NOT a bully! Bullies act the way they do because they lack the attention or parental love and nurturing that you have. They are insecure and bully only to feel powerful.
What can parents do if bullying happens?
Child psychologist Joanne Cummings suggests it is vital to be proactive to counteract your child’s negative self-talk.
Show empathy and positivity
Kids may be ashamed to talk about being bullied, or be afraid of their parents’ reactions, thinking they’ll be punished. While it may be upsetting to learn your child is being bullied, Cummings says it is important to show compassion for a child’s pain but also have an optimistic attitude that this problem can be solved. Reiterate that bullying others is wrong, not fair and everyone has the right to feel safe and respected.
Empower them
Cummings recommends parents encourage their kids to stand up for themselves; supporting them to defend themselves and encouraging them to tell the teacher. But, if it doesn’t help the situation, then it’s time to try something else. At this point, advising your child to simply tell the bully to stop will actually make them feel worse, says Cummings. They are coming to you because the bullying has become intolerable and they can’t fix the situation.
Spend quality time together
Whether you’re playing together or going for a walk with the family dog, just being together and asking about their thoughts, feelings or opinions will strengthen the parent-child bond, and that will help boost their self-esteem, says Cummings.
Help your kid connect with others
Capitalize on your child’s interests, signing them up for a sports team, art class or improv club. You want to give them a safe place to experience positive relationships with other kids and a chance to develop their talents, says Cummings. “Genuine self-esteem comes from developing skills and competencies that are noticed and validated by people who are important to you,” she explains. Find a group with a positive adult leader who creates an inclusive, welcoming environment where your kid can hopefully spark new friendships.
Talk to the school or daycare
Not only is it a good idea to report bullying to the school so they can watch for harmful behavior, but your child’s teacher may be able to help with self-esteem building. “Ask the teacher to create opportunities for your child to get to know and work with caring classmates so they develop healthy peer relationships,” suggests Cummings. For a kid who is being bullied, having a close friend can cut in half the long-term risks of mental health problems, such as anxiety or depression, says Volk. Intervention from a teacher or another adult can also decrease the long-term risk that the child or youth’s self-esteem is affected.
Agencies that can help
Ages 5-25
1800 55 1800
Kids Help Line is Australia’s only free, 24/7 phone and online counseling service for young people aged 5 to 25.
Ages 12-25
1800 650 890
eheadspace provides online and telephone service that supports young people and their families going through tough times.
For ALL Ages
13 11 14
Lifeline is a national charity providing all Australians experiencing a personal crisis with access to 24-hour crisis support and suicide prevention services.